Joyce’s Style File: MJ Emulates Ronald McDonald

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the most stylish person out there. Don’t misunderstand, I’d like to think that I can put together a decent outfit and know the basic rules of ‘good’ style, i.e., 9 times out of 10, black and brown don’t go together, never mix polka dots and stripes, Ed Hardy = death, etc. But am I always super up-to-date with the latest trends and up-and-coming fashion designers? No. I keep up with fashion but not to the extent that I do basketball.

HOWEVER, I do know a fashion miscue when I see it and there was a doozy last night at the Bulls vs. Bobcats game:

 

For shame, Michael. For shame. (Photo Credit: sports.espn.go.com)

 

You really want to be compared to this? (Photo Credit: blogs.babble.com)

Now okay, I’ll cut him some slack I suppose. He’s had some much worse disasters than this one so I guess this isn’t that bad. But WTF is going on with striped mustard-ketchup-ronald-mcdonald hoodie? And the grey hood and grey at the end of the sleeves? It’s like the person who was making the hoodie ran out of red and yellow fabric and decided, ‘grey on a red/yellow hoodie makes TOTAL SENSE.’ To make matters worse, is that some kind of 6-button red vest he’s got going on underneath? Oh MJ, no. Just no. Don’t even get me started on those jeans. [I have an irrational distaste for jeans where the fading is super duper obvious. Just looks cheap].

Some of you may cry party foul because I’m ragging on his Airness, a man whose image helped create the massive brand that is now world-renown as Air Jordan. But that does not excuse shitty clothing choices. It always baffles my mind when people with tons of money wear outfits that look like they put together with their eyes closed or worse…..anything by ED HARDY [ughhhhhh]. Hire a stylist, dammit!

Or take a few tips from his BFFL, Scottie Pippen:

 

Pip: 'Hey MJ, you may be the GOAT but I still have better fashion sense than you. Just sayin'.' (Photo Credit: chicitysportsfan.com)

Scottie always looks pretty put together. Nothing super creative or flashy. Just timeless. He usually has on a nice suit sans the tie and you know what? It works for him. He looks good. Which is more than I can say for our dear, MJ.

MJ could also maybe take some pointers from the heir to his throne, Derrick Rose:

Simple. Classic. D. Rose is lookin' GOOD. (Photo Credit: basketball-n-ent.com)

 

I’m tellin’ you, MJ. There’s no need for all the crazy shenanigans you get into with your fashion [I mean, there is, but in moderation and not so much that it looks like someone threw up their closet on you]. So please take note from your peers, my dear repeat offender. Otherwise Joyce’s fashion po’ po’ is comin’ after you. Again.

-Joyce