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The Playoff Emergency Kit

April 21, 2011

Dear Gentle Readers:

As some of you may know, the Yin Seeesters will be reunited in Chicago for a few Round 2 playoff games (I know, we have to get by the Pacers first, yada, yada).  In preparation for the playoffs and because the first week of May is Emergency Preparedness Week, we thought it would be helpful to create our own emergency kit, to be used when watching playoff games with one or two of the Yin Seeesters.  Below is a list of items that the federal government suggests that every household has (Jocelyn’s comments italicized; Joyce’s comments bolded):

  • Water, one gallon of water per person per day for at least three days, for drinking and sanitation.  Water can be dumped over a hyperventilating Joyce or used to hydrate Jocelyn’s voice, which will be hoarse from screaming.
  • Food, at least a three-day supply of non-perishable food.  If we make it to the Finals, Joyce will have to camp out at the United Center (UC) for three days for tickets. I’m only doing this if it is 60 degrees or warmer in Chicago. And for anyone who has ever lived in Chicago, it might very well be hailing in early May; I wouldn’t be surprised. Sorry, Bulls. I love y’all but I love my health more.

if you're not prepared to watch games with the Yin Seeesters, this is what might happen (Photo credit: National Weather Service)

  • Battery-powered or hand crank radio and a NOAA Weather Radio with tone alert and extra batteries for both.  What if the power goes out (it is tornado season after all), our cell phones die, and we can’t get any Internet access (NO TWITTER? NOOOOOO!)?  Have to go old school with the radio.
  • Flashlight and extra batteries.  Forget lighters, when the lights go down at the UC, we’ll wave this around. We can also shine our flashlights in opponents eyes to distract them and hopefully mess them up. Ha! Take that!
  • First aid kitTo fix up anyone who gets inadvertently hurt by our wild gesticulating. 
  • Whistle to signal for help.  Or just to help make the UC crowd louder.
  • Dust mask, to help filter contaminated air and plastic sheeting and duct tape to shelter-in-place.  Again, could be helpful for hyperventilation and plastic sheeting useful for building tents outside the UC.
  • Moist towelettes, garbage bags and plastic ties for personal sanitation.  Because leaving our seats during the game might be impossible. Ewwwwwwwwww.
  • Wrench or pliers to turn off utilities.  To knock out any people ahead of us in line for tickets. Or to knock out annoying fans of the opposing team. Don’t test me. I’ll do it.
  • Can opener for food (if kit contains canned food).  Or to crack open an extra beer. Or five. Or ten.
  • Local maps.  And a map of the UC with food options clearly marked.
  • Cell phone with chargers, inverter or solar charger.  Since we are sitting apart for game 7 of round 2, you can bet we’ll need all the cell phone juice that we can have on hand.

Other preparation tips for watching games with the Yin Seeesters?

Bring:

  • Earplugs
  • Smelling salts
  • A handheld fan

and above all, no haterade allowed.

Good luck to your teams (if they’re in the playoffs and not playing the Bulls…because  otherwise, f-you)!

-Jocelyn (& Joyce)

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