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Introducing the Big O to America

March 16, 2011

After a few great performances, The Turkish Delight, aka Omer Asik, has been getting some love in the press (heck, the whole team has been the target of some serious bball-love, even from MJ), even garnering this somewhat shocking response from John Hollinger in his chat yesterday:

Eli (Orlando)

True or False. DPOY is Dwight’s until the voters get bored of giving it to him.

John Hollinger

I think so, but we also have some young defenders who could challenge him in coming seasons, particularly the two centers in Chicago. Everyone talks about Noah, but I think Asik might be even better. He won’t win DPOY playing ten minutes a game in Chicago, obviously, but if he’s traded he could. Also, Memphis’s Tony Allen would be a very strong candidate if Hollins had been playing him from Game 1.

Well, in the middle of all this praise for Omer, Nick Friedell recently published a remark from JoNo that Joyce and I found to be funny:

Asik said the biggest thing he needs to work on still is his offensive game, specifically post moves. Joakim Noah has a different idea.

He thinks that Asik hasn’t gone through the proper rookie hazing because of his ability to skirt specific rookie duties because of a perceived language barrier.

“It’s unbelievable,” Noah said. “He doesn’t pay up on bets. He has no rookie duties. It’s unbelievable. But he has been playing well. For me, my rookie year they used to give so much [crap], but for Omer it’s OK for some reason.”

So Joyce and I got to thinking, what are some ways that you could haze, or “introduce”, Omer to organized American sports?  Here’s where we think Omer could start:

1. Polish D.Rose’s Skittles machine every week;
2. Carry Boozington’s gym bag;
3. Shoot free-throws until he makes ten in a row (or even 2 in a row…);
4. Braid JoNo’s hair;
that’s a lotta hair (photo credit: top 10 big ten blog)
5. Waltz with Benny the Bull in front of a packed United Center crowd;
or at least sashay down the court (photo credit: Scott Strazzante/Chicago Tribune)
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6. Bench press more than Coach Thibs;
7. Wear the same leg-pants as Kyle Korver until he makes a 3-pointer during a game;
8. Sing in the next players’ video;
9. Dress up as the young chef from Ratatouille [striking resemblance, no?] and cook a Turkish banquet for the entire Bulls team;

Omer...the chef? (photo credit: nba.com and disney)

10. Shave the Bulls logo into his hair.

Welcome to America, Omer!

-Jocelyn

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