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An Ode to Keith Bogans.

February 14, 2011

With today being Valentine’s day, Jocelyn suggested we write an ode of sorts to Keith Bogans, a much-maligned man with limited skills but at the mercy of Bulls fans everywhere just because he’s doing what Thibs is telling him to do. Now don’t get me wrong, there was a period of time where I wished a curse upon his head every day. But I’ve since given up [for the most part] when I realized Thibs wasn’t going to change anything. Now I mostly just feel bad for him. Thus, this ode:


A V-Day Card from Thibs to Bogans. Photo Credit: Joyce


There exists a Bulls shooting guard
Last name, Bogans. First name, Keith
Not particularly exceptional and certainly not a star.
He makes Bulls fans everywhere shake their heads and seethe.

So far this season, he has started every game
and Bulls fans all let out a huge collective sigh.
Almost every night, his stat line reads the same
0 points, 0 rebounds, 0 assists…WHAT IS WITH THIS GUY?

We cursed out Thibs with a fiery passion
condemned Bogans to the pits of hell
every night, Bulls blogs would give him a good ol’ tongue lashin’
and raised questions Thibs could not quell.

However, as time went on
we noticed that whenever Bogans scored 6 or more
even while Joakim Noah was gone
we would almost undoubtedly win games fa’sho’.

So, for now we wait and see
as the All-Star break nears
maybe it was meant to be
that Bulls fans really have nothing to fear.

I feel like I should mention the fact that Bogans had 11 points in Saturday’s game against the Hornets. 11 POINTS. And it was a pretty efficient 11 points too: 4/5 FG’s, making 3/4 three-pointers. Untradeable! MVP! Lulz.

Who knows. He has admittedly been playing better lately [by his standards, at least]. So hopefully his play will only continue to get better. Or he could give us another 0 points, 0 rebounds, 0 assists, 3 fouls kind-of-night in the next game. I wouldn’t be all too surprised. Anyway, the Bogans prophecy lives on! [except for the last game against the Blazers where he did manage to actually score at least 6 pts but we still lost].

Anyway, happy V-day, y’all. Go red! Or as the Bulls would say, SEE RED.

-Joyce & Jocelyn


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